An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a
car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to
her interest in health food, and exercise. When they reached the pearly
gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a
beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.
As they "oohed and aahed" the old
man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," Peter replied,
"this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the
championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have
golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one
representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked,
"what are the green fees?"
Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you
play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the
lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old
man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!"
Peter replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low
cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
Peter lectured, "That's the best part .
. . you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get
fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of
anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly.
Peter and his wife both tried to calm him
down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said,
"This is all your fault. If it weren't for your bran muffins, I could
have been here ten years ago!"
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