|
What do
lawyers use for birth control?
* Their
personalities.
What is
the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
* A
tick falls off of you when you die.
Why
does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
* To
prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the
same service.
What do
you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
* Not
enough sand.
What's
the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in
the middle of the road?
* There
are skid marks in front of the skunk.
What is
black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
* A
Doberman.
Why are
lawyers like nuclear weapons?
* If
one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they
cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
What do
lawyers and sperm have in common?
* One
in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Did you
hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
* They
had pictures of lawyers on them ...and people couldn't figure out
which side to spit on.
Lawyer's
creed:
* A man
is innocent until proven broke.
What's
the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
*
Lipstick.
What do
you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?
*
Skeet.
What do
you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
*
Chelsea Clinton
If you
see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him?
* It
might be your bicycle.
It was
so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?)
*
...... I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
A man
walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.
"$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer.
"Isn't
that awfully steep?" asked the man.
"Yes,"
the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"
You're
trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a
gun with two bullets. What should you do?
*
You shoot the lawyer. Twice. |
