1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your
boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to
the bathroom.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut
so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting
fat.
4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, arm-cloth, leg-cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced
with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red raw.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body
wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as
you must make sure that it has all come off).
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to
get it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and
you lose the water pressure.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
Tilex.
15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African
country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with
nails/tweezers if found.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
head.
18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any
exposed and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting
dressed.
Now click here to learn how to shower like a man |
